Going with Your Gut (Part 2)

So, I changed my mind.

I believe I ended my last post with a promise of a sequel that describes how variable infant caregiving is in different cultures.  The purpose of such a description would be to illustrate how there are many different ways to raise a baby and to prove that the practices deemed “correct” by experts in our culture are not alone in producing healthy children that grow into happy adults. I still think that such a post is a good idea, but as I was researching the topic I realized that it would make a much better book than blog post.  The topic of cultural variability in child care-giving is much too complex and broad to be summarized in a casual blog post.  I find the topic too interesting and too important to oversimplify.   

I also changed my mind about another aspect of my last post.  I was quick to deride “experts” and those who pick “parenting camps” from which they get opinions and views on parenting issues, but I am absolutely guilty of the same behavior.  Who am I kidding? Once I had the chance to reflect on my post, I realized that I have a whole host of camps and experts from whom I gather information.  For starters, I have just finished a series of courses in Applied BehaviorAnalysis which is an entire philosophy of learning and child-rearing based on B.F. Skinner’s Behaviorism.  I’m not a radical behaviorist like some, but technically I am supposed to be 100% committed to using only behavioral interventions for problem behavior if I am to work as a Board Certified Behavior Analyst.   This is absolutely a “camp” full of “experts” that will spoon feed answers to any parenting problem.  Of course I plan on using this methodology on students and clients with developmental disabilities such as autism, but the same principles hold true for all people.

 In addition to my behavior analyst training, just this week I found a new “expert” with whom I share a lot of views.  Jean Liedoff is the author of “The Continuum Concept” and I came across her website just this week as I was doing some research on infant caregiving in traditional cultures.  (Funny note – I had heard of “the continuum concept” before as it is the butt of some hilarious jokes in the movie “Away We Go”) She studied several cultures around the world and learned from their caregiving practices because they more closely reflect human nature and the way in which our species was designed to raise children.  In her view, and my own, modern Western culture has so radically altered our caregiving practices that we are not providing the environment or behaving in a way that is in line with our babies’ needs. This is a view based on anthropology and biology that uses the few traditional (often called “primitive”) culture left on the planet as a window into our species’ evolutionary past.  She openly criticizes “so called experts” throughout her writing and challenges readers to ignore experts if their advice goes against their intuition or human nature.  Interestingly, when her book became popular, she became widely regarded as an expert herself. 

Honestly, I wish I had beaten her to writing that book.  Last week I was sure that I was going to write a best-seller titled “Paleo Parenting: Raising Children the Natural Way”.  It would be an extension of the Paleo diet theory that our diet should be based on what our ancestors ate and what our bodies evolved to eat.  So far it looks like my “original” idea is not so original after all, but I do disagree with one article “TheConsequences of Consequences” that she wrote.  It was fascinating for me to read an article where she uses an anthropological perspective (which I share) to criticize behavioral interventions (which is my field).  From reading the article, she obviously does not have a firm understanding of behaviorism and the science of learning. Perhaps that is my niche – to find common ground between intuitive “paleo parenting” and the science of behaviorism.  Or maybe my niche is to write a book on how behavior analysis can be applied cross-culturally?  I’ll add those to the long list of future projects . . .

Another expert whom I admire is Harvey Karp, who wrote the extremely popular “Happiest Baby on the Block.” He also uses a lot of cross-cultural examples and uses their practices as inspiration for his suggestions (he calls them the 5 S’s: swaddling, sucking, swinging, side/stomach, shh-ing) that is the core of his book.  He mentions !Kung bushmen in Africa, Afghans nomads who swaddle, and several other far-flung cultures.  His book was the only parenting book that I read and actually used.  The only complaint I’ve heard about his work is that it was common knowledge to many midwives and grandmothers around the world, but now he has made quite a pile of cash from packaging those ideas and putting them into a paperback.

So how does this fit in with my audacious title “Going with Your Gut”? I guess the middle ground that I’m seeking is that “going with your gut” does not preclude learning from others.  Educate yourself from a variety of sources, retaining what seems valid and disregarding the rest.  Build a good foundation of knowledge.  This way, when you do come to a difficult decision you will have more confidence in your gut reaction.  Still trust your intuition, but having some research to back it up.